I have no excuse for not posting since July, but I can explain. You see, I've had a revelation, an epiphany, a conversion ... and I just couldn't stir myself to blither on about misplaced apostrophes when I had something to confess.
Hi, I''m Simon and I'm a pedant. Until recently, I was the kind of person who shouts "fewer!" at the radio whenever someone uses "less" with a count noun; the kind who keeps a copy of Eats, Shoots and Leaves in the toilet; in other words, a prescriptivist. Someone who had paid attention in English lessons, tried to learn the rules and couldn't stand other people ignoring them.
Then I started reading a website written by people who study language for a living and, moreover, love it. The website is Language Log and it's brilliant. Often far too academic for me, but still brilliant. More importantly, it takes a descriptivist view of language, in that it seeks to describe how people actually use English (and numerous other languages - they are strikingly fond of Cantonese jokes, for example) rather than prescribing how they 'should' speak or write. This doesn't mean they don't care - far from it, they have clear views about correct usage - but they recognise that just because you have a pet peeve about the difference between 'imply' and 'infer' or the use of 'impact' as a verb or anything else that gets John Humphrys in a lather, doesn't mean it's wrong. The indisputable fact is that language has been evolving ever since it was one grunt for yes, two grunts for no, so trying to preserve it as it was the day you took your O-level makes no sense at all.
We don't have to like the many deviations English is constantly taking from the 'true' path as we knew it in 1980 (or 1970, or 1960 etc), but we have to accept them. This is, quite frankly, a liberation. It doesn't stop you speaking and writing as you choose - and it doesn't stop you criticising usage you don't think is helpful. But it does mean that you spend less time fuming like a red-faced buffoon at a golf club dinner.
So, first read this magnificent post about Simon Heffer's "ghastly, insufferable, obnoxious, appallingly incompetent book" about the correct way to write. Then read the reviews it links to. Then come and join me.
